Your solo show Nobody Cares is refreshingly honest about everything from fame to motherhood—but your take on perimenopause really struck a chord. What inspired you to center this conversation so unapologetically on stage? I think, you know, my show is about going from, I sort of start at like 18, and go through my life in a creative way, but so much of my life is people pleasing and conforming to what makes especially men comfortable. A conversation like perimenopause, or, frankly, any conversation about women, these things can make men extremely uncomfortable. And I’m sort of done making people comfortable.
In the way that miscarriage is a taboo topic, and I’ve talked about that a lot too, perimenopause is a taboo topic. So putting it into my comedy show is part of how I’ve become less of a people pleaser.
You’ve said that perimenopause felt like a “surprise party” no one warned you about. Looking back, what do you wish someone had told you before it began? I didn’t even know the word. I literally had never heard the term ‘perimenopause’ until my doctor told me I probably have it. At around 40, I just started to feel not myself, and I thought it was because I had a young child, or because I was working too much…I started to spiral.
And then at 43, I had a miscarriage, and it was after that miscarriage that this doctor was like, maybe it’s perimenopause. I said, well you can’t get pregnant during menopause, and they said actually, you can. I wish I had known that, and to look out for unusual symptoms like frozen shoulder. Everyone knows what hot flashes are—hot flashes are what people have been making jokes about in movies for 10 years. I wish I would have known what to look out for so that I could have taken care of myself. What has surprised you most about this chapter of life—and what are you most excited for next? I had my children later, at 37 and then 42. They’re now 8 and 3. So I think having my daughters late did two things for me: I’m more tired. And also I’ve lived enough life to have a better understanding of the evolution of the world. When I look at my children, especially in the climate right now, I just feel like I want them to have knowledge, because knowledge is power. It’s not just about your body, it’s about your autonomy. It’s about having a better understanding of yourself that I can then impart to my children.
I’m not talking about perimenopause with my young children…but teaching them the space you are allowed to take up, and saying the word period, and the word tampon, and normalizing it all.
How do you find flow—that moment, or ability, to be fully immersed and present in the moment—in your life? This is my daily (minute-ly) challenge. I am not good at being where I am when I’m there. My brain is always rushing to the past and the future. The thing I have found most helpful is meditation. Does it help me? Yes. Do I do it nearly enough? Absolutely not. | 
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